Congratulations on your decision to marry! We, the staff and parishioners of St. Joseph of Cupertino, are glad to be of service to you. It is our hope and prayer that you have a long and happy marriage.
Because we, as Catholics, believe marriage to be a lifelong commitment with special religious significance, it is important that all couples intending to marry in the Church be prepared for that commitment as adequately as possible. To this end, we ask that you participate in a process of preparation, which will include a number of required activities.
MARRIAGE PREPARATION
The marriage preparation process includes the following elements:
Meetings with the priest/deacon. During these meetings he will describe the marriage preparation process in detail, find out more about you and your relationship, take care of some of the necessary paperwork, talk with you about the teaching of the Church regarding marriage, and help with the planning of the wedding ceremony. He may also administer and discuss the results of the FOCCUS (see below). Couples should not proceed with any part of the marriage preparation process until they have first met with the priest/deacon.
Participation in the parish marriage preparation program or in an Engaged Encounter weekend. The parish marriage preparation program (no charge) consists of one session facilitated by a married couple; this couple will lead various discussions focusing on topics related to marriage. There is no set schedule for these sessions; the priest/deacon will assist you in contacting the lead couple to find out when the next session is available. The weekends, which take place at a retreat house, require reservations made well in advance and have a fee attached. Go to www.eesanjose.org to register.
An introduction to the Natural Family Planning method of birth regulation. These sessions are held at the diocesan office in San Jose Early registration is recommended and may be done online: https://www.dsj.org/evangelization/family-life/natural-family-planning/
FOCCUS (not used by all priests/deacons). This instrument will test your communication with each other. The priest/deacon will discuss with you the results of the FOCCUS after you have taken the FOCCUS online.
Baptismal certificate. If you were baptized Catholic, you will need a recent copy of your baptismal certificate, that is, one issued no more than six month before the date of your wedding. You will have to obtain this copy from the church of baptism. If you were baptized in some other Christian denomination, a photocopy of your original certificate is sufficient.
Form A (Questionnaire for Bride and Groom). You will meet with the priest/deacon to complete this form stating that you are free to marry and that you are able to fulfill the responsibilities of marriage. If you are a Catholic, you will be asked for the date and place of your first communion and confirmation.
Form B (Questionnaire for Witness). Someone who knows you well--usually one of your parents--will meet with a priest/deacon to complete this form verifying the information you gave above. He or she will have to know about your reception of the sacraments.
Other documents may be necessary if this is an interfaith marriage (a marriage between a Catholic and someone of a different faith) or if the bride or groom has had a previous marriage. The priest/deacon will assist you.
Civil marriage license. You must apply for a marriage license that is issued by the County Clerk's Office. Bring this to your rehearsal.
THE CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE
You will have the opportunity to plan your marriage celebration in consultation with the priest/deacon. The Church provides a number of options in regard to prayers, readings from scripture, music, and persons you might wish to involve in the ceremony.
Parish Wedding Coordinator
Our parish wedding coordinator will be present on the day of your wedding and at your rehearsal to assist you. The use of the parish wedding coordinator is required for all weddings. She has her own fee, payable directly to her.
Scheduling Your Wedding
Weddings usually take place on Saturdays, at 10 A.M., 12 noon, or 2 P.M. You are allowed a total of two hours in church, beginning up to 45 minutes before your wedding. Please note that if the length of your wedding ceremony exceeds one hour, time for photography in church after the wedding may be shortened or even canceled because of other events that may follow. Wedding parties and guests must be out of the church by 3:20 P.M. on Saturdays.
Church Etiquette
Our church is a sacred space. Please conduct yourselves in a respectful manner whenever you are in church.
Food and Drink
Please do not consume food or drink in church. Chewing gum is not appropriate. Water is permitted for health reasons. The consumption of alcohol is not allowed on church premises except for religious purposes.
Photography/Videography
Flash photography or special lights are permissible only during the entrance procession and as the wedding party is exiting the church. Except at these times, photographers and videographers must remain in one place.
Flowers and Other Decorations
You may bring in your own flowers and other decorations. However, any banners, cloths, or decorations already in church on the day of your wedding may not be moved or removed. For this reason, please take into consideration the seasons of the church year when scheduling your wedding. For example, purple is the liturgical color of the seasons of Advent and Lent.
Tape is not allowed on any of the pews.The use of runners is discouraged. If you wish, the wedding coordinator will contact your florist to arrange a delivery time for your flowers and/or help you to share flowers with another couple marrying the same day. We ask that you consider sharing the joy of your wedding day with the parish community by leaving at least one floral arrangement in church for the decoration of the altar at weekend masses.
Candles
The church has candelabra which you may use for your wedding. If you wish to use a "unity candle," you must provide your own. You must also provide your own stand for this candle, as well as tapers with which to light it. All of these items will be returned to you after your wedding.
Throwing of Rice or Other Items
The throwing of rice, birdseed, flower petals, etc. is not allowed, either inside or outside of church. The bride and groom will be responsible for any necessary cleaning after the ceremony.
Music
Music at a Catholic wedding should reflect the religious meaning of marriage. For this reason, most popular music is not appropriate at Catholic weddings. All music must have the approval of the officiant. Parish musicians will be available both to perform music and to make music suggestions; please pay them directly for their professional services. Note that outside musicians must have the approval of the parish priest/deacon, or music director. Visiting organists may use the organ only with permission.
The Rehearsal
Rehearsals normally take place on the evening before the day of the wedding. The priest/deacon leads the rehearsal. For those couples using the services of a visiting priest/deacon, it is especially important to note that the rehearsal is his responsibility and not that of the parish wedding coordinator. Be sure to schedule the rehearsal for a time when the priest/deacon can be present.
Donations and Fees
We ask that all getting married at St. Joseph of Cupertino give a donation to the parish for the use of the church. In addition, there is a fee for the wedding coordinator. Musicians have their own fees. While it is not necessary, a gift for the officiant is appreciated. Please note that the church donation and all fees are due in the parish office no later than two weeks before the scheduled date of your wedding. If you are being prepared for marriage at St. Joseph but your wedding is taking place elsewhere, the parish requests a donation of at least $100.00.
To inquire about marriage, please call the parish office at 408-252-7653.